A recent Mic.com headline reads "How Many High-Profile Gun Killings Must There Be Before America Takes Action?" But I'm here to tell you that you will sooner read the be reading this one instead (possibly right now, look, you're doing it!): America Passes Nationwide Ban on High-Profile Gun Think-Pieces.
And really, isn't it time? I mean how many of these mass printings do there have to be before we finally pass effective, common sense legislation to end the scourge of violent articles which threaten the rights of law-abiding gun owners. With a range of colorful choices from The Atlantic, to Slate, to Mother Jones these high-caliber magazines assault rifles and handguns alike. And if you think your neighborhood is safe, it isn't. Thanks to loopholes and lax regulation in digital media pay-walls almost anyone can get their hands on one of these dangerous gun pieces, many of which can be discreetly carried under a jacket or stuffed into the back of your pants. What's to stop a kid in your neighborhood from getting into his dad's stash and bringing one (or more) of these things into his school? I mean there's no telling how far the damage could spread, how many kids will be victimized by one of these things before it's confiscated? 10, 20, 30 kids? I mean isn't just one, one too many?
And I know some people will say "But Mike, think-pieces are supposed to be dangerous, the government shouldn't control our thoughts, it's up to us to police them for ourselves and our families," or "think-pieces about assault rifles aren't dangerous on their own, you're just confused because they have the word 'think' in them which of course makes them sound bad, but these pieces are just tools that a few bad seeds use to push their deranged and dangerous thoughts on their unsuspecting victims." But I say no. I say: enough is enough.
That's why I advocate arming teachers with NRA Literature. And not just teachers, movie theater owners and news teams too. Frankly I think that every law-abiding citizen should be required to have at least one pamphlet on them at all times. And that way if a student comes in with one (and really it's not if but when) the teacher can quickly dispatch them with a quick retort like "Guns don't kill people, people writing about guns kill gun owners, who really are the only people that matter." Either that or hell, just give these teachers a gun, these days those are way easier to get your hands on than a print magazine anyway.